Friday, November 6, 2015

There May Be an Evolutionary Reason Men Leave the Seat Up

Oh dear. The things you accidently discover about a person.

When we did public education lectures about AIDS in the early days of the epidemic, one thing we did was die toilet water purple and then we would simulate a standing pee to show people how widely standing pee can spray toilet water.

I have never forgotten that so when I am your guest I feel compelled to be an unobtrusive as possible. For me that includes peeing sitting down—especially when I am visiting a woman’s place.

Well the other night I had to pee really badly when I got to the washroom of a woman friend and so I peed standing up. But when I was finished, I decided to be sure to leave no trace by using some toilet paper and water to wipe the toilet seat clean.

I damp washed the top of the seat and then I lifted it to clean the bottom and that is when I discovered that this woman, who prides herself on her appearance and her competency in all things, likely has never cleaned the underside of her toilet. I will spare you what I cannot forget.

No I realize that a man in the household who leaves the seat up serves a purpose.

When I returned to the party, the hostess betrayed pride in what she was serving. I think she would like us all to believe she is an erudite and sophisticated person. The toilet seat speaks volumes.

No comments: