Well, I never heard from the lawyer with whom I left a message about filing my will. So I applied myself to the “staging” of my funeral.
They say the measure of man lies in how many people attend his funeral, so I’ve devised a plan: I’m leaving my money to be shared by those who attend mine.
It’ll be in a bingo hall after my estate is liquidated—one with “catering” of course. What’s a good fun funeral with out hot dogs and pop? A modest bouquet (that will feature later in the ceremony) will sit beside my urn the caller’s table.
Once everyone is comfortably installed, the caller will invite my devoted friends to share (brief) memories of me; then the games will begin. (Guests will be advised that as the games progress, the prizes will get larger, and that the prizes are substantial so that gaming won’t last too long.)
After the last game the host will announce a bonus prize: Those not having won a Bingo game will assemble before the caller who’ll take the bouquet and toss it to the assembled non-winners. The catcher will earn the right to claim half the prize from the winner of the last Bingo game (with the largest prize).
I’m thinking outside the box.