Wednesday, March 30, 2022

Wood: The Chaos Correction

Behold the Halitrephes Jellyfish. Such a beautiful creature!

Daniel is the brother of a high school friend. He arrived here on Gabriola yesterday and got in touch. So far, I’ve helped him find and purchase some firewood, and yesterday morning I arranged with Jay for Dan to borrow Jay’s truck to move the wood. I’ve been helping him with sourcing other things as well. It feels good to be helpful to a new island resident. I can hardly wait to meet him.

I walked Her Highness rather late in the morning, and then got to work on the nicest, warmest day so far this year. I had to get all my tools and containers and crap out of the shed, and I slowly started packing all the fallen wood, and even that which was still stacked, out to various other places around the yard. Later, I will bring it all back in and re-stack it.

But I’m not hurrying; I’m taking it easy. I have no real deadline. I can get Bob to deliver the last cord when I am done all this wood done. I was not at all disturbed by this nasty turn of events; there was only to do it, and the weather was so nice, I didn’t care.

I had a very pleasant interruption: Leo came over. He and Merrill are spending their first night in their new house tonight. They are finally moving in, so Issa is back, and I can hardly wait to see her and to see how she’s grown.

Mid-afternoon, I had a brainwave. I used a large plant like a lever to right parts of the collapsed stack and saved myself hours of de-stacking and re-stacking. So, the late afternoon involved schlepping stuff I normally store in the shed to other locations so that there is more room in the shed for wood.

Today, I’ll be doing a run to GIRO to rid the shed of all my recyclables, and then getting back to work on stacking the remaining cord+ of wood in the driveway. 

This has turned into a much, much bigger job than I expected. But it feels good to be outside every day, all day, and working. I’m glad to be off my ass and studying all the time. I love being outdoors and active.

Dan offered to help me with my wood. I thanked him but declined as I have only one wheelbarrow. Instead, I proposed that we meet at The Surf for dinner at 6:00 and I also invited Jay to join us. So, I quit working early enough to enjoy a nice walk with Sheba, have a spa and rest before leaving for The Surf.

I’d thanked him. Is that why people make fun of Canadians? I thanked my doctor for telling me I was going to die. I can’t believe that! From the second he told me, my body and voice were piloted by instinct. Thoughts and images strobing in my brain occupied my mind. I couldn’t process anything. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to have a plan.

There are a lot of practical things to do—revise my will, write out access codes, account numbers, get an executor and so on. And then there’s saying goodbye to all my friends, and arranging for a future for Cain and Able, my cats.

I thought about going away where it was warm for a while, but I decided I’d rather just stay at home. What surprised me was a conviction that I didn’t want to see my friends.

I feel kind of numb. I haven’t cried, I can’t say I’m scared. What’s the point of being scared? There’s no point in anything negative when there isn’t much time left. Forward to my end. Soon I won’t have to hear about or read about stupid human deeds and words. I am sick of us.

I’ll go back to Dr. Murphy. I want to know what it’s going to be like at the end. I want to know about pain management and if I can be at home until I go to the hospital or if I should arrange for hospice. And I’ve decided to throw a party—and soon, while I look and feel okay.

I’ll rent a site and arrange for a band and catering, and at some point, well into the night, after briefly visiting with everyone, I’ll make a speech. I’ll tell everyone that the party is a celebration, and then about my situation and I’ll ask them not to visit or call. They can write, but I won’t reply. And then I’ll muster every cell of sincerity in me, to thank them for all the joy and laughter that they brought into my life. I'll tell them that they are reason that the night is a celebration, that I want to honour and celebrate all that we shared together.

And then I’ll leave, but I’ll have a knock-out entertainer ignite the room with dance-or-die music so that the partying will continue. Fade to black.

No comments: