Friday, March 10, 2023

Block Attack

Some blocks in my script seem to be impossible for me to correct. I went over my memorized 1300 words over and over yesterday, nearly always blocking in the same spots. I’m going to take more days to try to get it all securely down before I take on more words. If I can’t master them, I’ll make myself a cheat sheet.

Dare I admit it? Dare I share something so telling? I have become an old man, a codger, a bumpkin. What’s changed me? Suspenders. I got some new pants with a waist wide enough for an elephant and tried them today for the first time. It’s like wearing a Jolly Jumper—but without the bells and beads. But I actually like it.

This is what I decided to do instead of going on a diet again and then putting all the weight back on. I feel better and happier being a fatty. I’m not too fat, but I am a much fatter person than I was all my life. And I have no butt. My HIV medication ate all the fat and moved it around my body. With no butt, it’s hard to keep your pants up. Am I over sharing? 

I watched a pretty great movie on Kanopy last night. Kanopy is a hundred times better now that members have access to as many films as they want. There are endless good movies on Kanopy, and it’s free. You just need a public library card number. I watched Louder than Bombs Had three seizures watching it, but I sure liked it. I love the cinematography, the editing, the writing is good, the acting is great. That’s what I loved. I think the director is quite brilliant.

Still struggling with the 1,300, but I feel good still. Progress is slow right now, and I’m not surprised. It’s a bit shitty, really, that I have these “blocks,” I call them—these places where I don’t know the next line. Well, I actually know it, but I need a prompt, then off I go to the next block. I count the blocks of each run. It is self-flagellation. I’m at about six.

There are 220 lines in the script I have memorized so far. For the blocks, I need a key word of to know where I go next. The key word opens the door to masses of words until the next bock. One word gives me a line, and off I go. So, I have trouble with 6 of 220 lines. I have no reason to believe I’m OCD-ish. I stumble on 2% of them. There’s my definition of close.

As I move forward, like for the next 200 words, I learn them, then I start doing runs of the whole thing with the new section. So, the ones I’m having trouble with now will get much more rehearsal.

This morning, I did all 1300 words with just 3 blocks. I can get past those blocks by the practice I do today. I am very confident that I’ll get through the entire thing today, then I can start on another 200 words on the weekend.

We did our dog walk with our friends this morning, and later I’ll do some shopping and reading, but the big focus of the day will be crushing blocks. 

Hair ice. Best shot I've seen yet.

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