Agoraphobic ?!

Bruce’s sister wrote to say that Bruce had developed a “deep vein thrombosis” (a clot) and could not come home Tuesday as planned. He’s staying in the Ravenna hospital for another week. I ache for him. I once was in hospital for six weeks and towards the end of my stay I was going crazy.

I spent early yesterday morning repairing an edge of the defiant dress. I burned it on Monday in the oven by mistake. On Friday, Dwight’s coming here to make a brace for the back plate and that’ll finish it. I’m sad it’s over — really sad, like when the best of books you’re reading comes to an end. I loved making the ugly dress.

Yesterday I asked Dr. Shoja if her two references to agoraphobic the week before had been hints.

“What do you think?”

“I think they were,” I said, “but I decided I’m not because agoraphobia is an irrational fear of the outdoors and my fear is rational.”

“Explain to me how your fear is rational,” she answered.

Okay, check mate.  She said the way to get over it is to go outside as often as possible so I walked home… and not only that, I came home the long way — via Chinatown where I got the chopsticks I need to build my fortune cookie dress.

I think I have a brilliant idea for this next dress; I’ll see if I can build it to look like what I see in my mind’s eye. If I can, it’ll be a second dress without a mannequin. I got some fabulous tiny red balls and gold yarn to attach to the gazillion fortunes I’m going to make, plus a heart-shaped hole-punch to create the hole I use to attach them to the paper fortune. Perfect!

I’m nervous about what I’ll hear from Colin today — assuming I do hear from him today. He said he had three days available and today is the third. I also have to go back to Chinatown for more chopsticks.

I can’t quite believe it. I’m already well underway with the cookie/chopstick dress. I just keep rollin’ along. I can’t stop. It’s truly a wonderful thing how happy it makes me. Being at home all the time would be torture if I didn’t have my project. It’s very clear to me that this “hobby” is going to last as long as I can do it.

It also seems clear to me that if the Arts Club passes on my script, I will find another producer or, more likely, produce it myself.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤