Tuesday, February 27, 2018


My flight home companions were a mother and
son from County Cork in Ireland.

When I got home from Vancouver I was gobsmacked by Darrell’s work yet again. The finishing of the soffits and exterior are beau-ti-ful! It looks so handsome in its Cedar suit. I gushed about Darrell’s work in an email to Elaine. If he finished the inside in the same way — all Cedary, I’m going to melt. And I think he is but he hasn’t started on the interior because he prioritized putting up a temporary handrail for me to use for access and egress to the tub.
Think about all the horror stories about contractors you’ve heard. It’s a horror trope. Darrell is the antithesis of horror. I feel like I must have been a saint in a former life to be so rewarded by his talent, dependability and affordability. He’s a man of honour in a world and time that seems, every day, to find new routes to dishonor.
The other absolutely remarkable thing about today was Me. I woke up with a sense of well being I haven’t felt for two years. I felt my healthiness as powerfully as I felt the internal disorder that drove me to the hospital two years ago. So I did what I can do to self-evaluate: I spoke out loud and I as fluent. I was completely fluent like I haven’t been for years.
It’s lasted all day. There have been hiccups of course, but I felt and spoke radiant all day including with Dr. Shoja. It was my second-to-last appointment. She’s sending a letter to my new GP about my condition and giving me a letter for my dentist and others with whom I regularly interact to warn them about my seizures.
I am legally and ethically able to drive. That had been worrying me. She has full confidence in my ability to manage in my car.
I spoke really well with her and with everyone all day. It’s now almost 6:00 pm and I am still fluent — even speaking aloud alone which has been the hardest thing in the world for me to do for the past two years.
I wish I could communicate how I feel about speaking without muscle pain or shame. I ate an entire chocolate-coated marshmallow bar to celebrate. I feel lighter. I feel blessed. I cried sometimes to hear myself speaking without a stutter — not loudly or anything. Tears would just roll down my cheeks I was so, so happy.
I surprise gift today was Dr. Shoja saying she would miss me. It was light and sincere and I deeply appreciated her first and only broaching of professional protocol.
It’s a month until I go back for the final goodbye.
When I got home, I loved the thrill of seeing the exterior finish of the porch. Soon my relationship with him will be ending too. I’m going to go to his house one day, after his work here is done, and speak from my heart as sincerely as I can how grateful I am for his work, his gifts and his integrity. And I’m going to give him cash. I think I’m going to give him five hundred bucks. 
Tomorrow Rob, my favourite stimulus, arrives. And I’m fluent just in time to welcome him to Pinecone Park & Spa.

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