And February Leaps

Today I’m going to bake a chocolate cake and then, for the first time ever, I’m going to try to make a mirror glaze with which to frost it. And because of that, I had dreams of trying to make and glaze a chocolate cake. This dream world of mine is exhausting because nothing ever goes well.

My other dream involved me returning to an apartment that was mine, but I was apparently living somewhere else because there were signs everywhere that the apartment had been empty for a long time. And … and … in the apartment there were three aquaria from which giant fish had escaped and were seemingly thriving in air. But skates and fish that looked like sharks were everywhere.

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Hannah is a sweet girl. She’ll be caring for my pets when I’m in Vancouver. She and her mother, Shelly, came by yesterday to learn about my pets and where things were and now I’ve achieved a peaceful outlook about leaving Fred, Ethel and Her Highness behind when I go to Vancouver.

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Today marks the second anniversary of being horridly dumped by Rob after ten not-so-easy years together. He was here two years ago today and he behaved horribly.

I remember when my dog Spike was getting terribly weak and tired; I knew that the end was coming and I was terrified of what would be required of me. But then one morning I awoke to him having a dreadful seizure and so I scooped him off and raced to the vet.

He was put down, of course, and the funny thing was that I was glad for that seizure that was so, so hard to see. The horror of it gave me the strength and conviction to make the decision I’d been dreading for so long. And Rob’s horrid behavior on his last visit served the same purpose. I’ve missed him, of course, ever since. I miss the affection and pride I took in his company, but his behavior allowed me to let go.

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Today is marks two months without Marijuana. I’ve not missed it, but there were a couple of demanding days when I thought: A puff would go down well right now.

I’ve thought I might have some if I had guests who used it, but there are none coming in March and I’m not allowed to have any whilst I’m in the mental health program during April and May, so the next time I can consider having some will be in June and by then I’ll have not had any for five months.

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So far, there’s no sign of construction on the lot next door. The owners have said during each of the past two summers, that they’d intended to start building in February. It could begin at any time and I’ll lose my sense of privacy when they build, so I’m grateful for every month that goes by without any human presence.