Sunday, January 30, 2022

My Tide May Be Out

Cooking the garlic tart, preparing the Brussel sprout dish (cutting all the leaves carefully off 20 sprouts), and tidying and cleaning up took up my entire day on Saturday. But I wasn’t rushed or anxious. I love baking and I felt good all day about how my chocolate tart would be received. When I was done at 3:00 after getting started at 5:00 am, I was pooped, so I got into the hot tub and really enjoyed relaxing in its engulfing warmth. 

You may have noticed the change of name on my blog. With my new understanding of neurological disorder, and with so much of my posts about my condition and symptoms, I thought it was time to have an apt title for this blog.

And speaking of my condition, I really enjoyed my day yesterday because it felt so normal, cooking and then hosting very nice people for dinner. I’m comfortable with the nature of my condition but realizing who my community was came as quite a shock.

Until last week, I had a condition I’d never heard of. Now I know much, much more about the history of neurological illness, that I’m a part of a community of weirdos, that it has a great variety of symptoms and that no one recovers.   

Breaking News: Last night was startling! We were talking and I was using my ‘key word’ method of speaking and then, suddenly, I started talking completely fluently. Not only that, but I could do quite a bit of talking using my Rand voice. Suddenly, it was back.

I don’t know what this means. The symptoms of neurological disorders, I now know, come in and ebb like the tide, and sometimes there are flood tides and very, very low ones. Maybe my tide is going out. I will, perhaps, know more today if I speak to someone or chat on a video call. But last night was thrilling.

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