Cardiac Failure

Forget Thursday day. It was the night that I’ll never forget.

I was sitting at my computer having a lovely time typing a post—not this one—when my pacemaker seemed to be vibrating inside me. It vibrated 3 times; not for very long. Then I began feeling overwhelmingly tired. My eyes closed, my head slowly fell towards my chest and I started seeing really weird images. 

I’d snap to when I heard a sound, and then I’d fold up again, unable to open my eyes and do anything. And then I started feeling awful and so I decided to go to bed. I shut down my computer and got up to walk into my bedroom, but walking was totally wonky. I had to fall onto the table and steady myself. Then I headed for the light switch to turn off the kitchen lights. That had me walking south.

The next thing I knew. I was on the floor quite a way north of where I was headed, and vomiting. I just lay there. I had no energy at all. I just wanted to chill on the floor, but eventually I thought I should get to bed and so I tried to get up. Panic! I could not move my legs, so I pushed my alarm button, and they called an ambulance.

Everything is a little blurry about last night. I remember people arriving, but it took me a while to realize that it was Kevin and Shelly. Kevin took me into his arms and when I realized who it was, I could not stop myself from patting his arms. I was incredibly relieved to have someone I cared deeply for and trusted with me.

All in all, five first responders arrived, and a few neighbours. I remember bits and pieces of the rest of the night, but there is lots missing. I did not sleep all night. Neither did I ever open my eyes. I was happy being safe in the hospital, and in bed, but I could not sleep at all. So, I just rested. 

They think my heart stopped for a bit or went into arrhythmia. So, this morning they adjusted my pacemaker so that it kicks in earlier. If what happened last night happens again, they may haul the pacemaker I have out of me and replace it with a pacemaker that is also a defibrillator. I hope and pray it doesn’t happen again.

I had no coat and no fleece or hoodie to come home in. I only had a tee shirt to wear. I’d had a spa late Thursday and was in my PJ bottoms and a tee when I passed out, so I came home in those clothes too, feeling rather odd. Once I got to the ferry terminal, I had an hour wait so I hoofed it into the funkly little boutique shopping area and found a store selling hoodies. It kept me warm on the ferry and on the long bus ride on the island getting home,

I’d only been home for minutes when Kevin arrived. I now love the man. We hugged each other fiercely three times. He and Shelly are dear friends and always will be. I am blessed.

And now, the couch and TV.