A Bright Sunny Christmas

Five AM Christmas morning and even the taxis are silent.

I bought myself a big pain au chocolate to eat for breakfast. That’s my big treat for myself today. Santa did not leave my voice under the tree — well, the wheat.

I will pass this day, like most other days, contentedly alone at home. As it is supposed to be sunny, I may go for a walk but the rest of the day will be spent on the wheat dress. I am so happy to be re-energized about my project again. This dress is looking good and different enough from the others to work well in the show. Making the individual leaves is particularly time consuming — ergo I could not be happier.

I often think ahead to some time and place in the future when the show opens. One way or another the stories will be as present as the dresses and together it should provide people with a good experience: If people take two minutes per dress — to read the letter and look at the details in the dress and, perhaps, converse with a friend about what they see, it would be a fun half-hour to see my show. And my friends, champagne, canapés and sunshine fill the space. What fun it will be.

I think it’s going to be a hoot writing the Charlotte monologue. I’ve considerable experience to draw on in writing it and an ax to gently grind with the visual arts profession.

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I’ve doubts about there being a relationship between the woman at Cirque and the decline in my speech. The woman at Cirque was awful but the wonderful thing about it was my clarity in knowing the issue was within the trespasser. I do not take affronts from people with issues personally any longer and that is a huge change and improvement from my past.

For some reason, it’s just much harder to talk — except, thank God, when I am with friends in a calm space. Perhaps Dr. Shoja will offer some insights; perhaps things will get better. Perhaps when I start with Columbia next week will bring improvement.

A week after I see Columbia, I hit the nine month mark.

I have new medications and I haven’t taken any. I don’t truly understand their purpose except that I know, for example, if I had to fly somewhere I would take one for sure — maybe two. But for day-to-day living I feel inclined to cope.

2017 is coming. A new beginning with speech therapy and a conclusion to the cardiac testing is imminent and through winter and spring I will go from half-way through my dress project to three-quarters of the way through.