When something is wrong, I obsess about it and it kind of ruins my day-to-day living—particularly my mornings. I lack the emotional “exits’ here that exist in the city—its theatres, cafés and friends. And being single means there’s no one around to draw me out of my worries. I have to be careful about what I write before I get out for my walk; nature restores my wellbeing.
Now that I’ve adapted to life with the physical symptoms of my anxiety illness, I’m struggling with my thoughts. That’s why I wrote the “Mindfulness” post a couple of days ago.
I’m finding it difficult to be ‘at peace.’ It takes work. My mantra came from Dr. Shoja: “Use your frontal lobes.” I’m to use reason to overcome the anxiety I know is my illness and irrational. It takes constant work.
I’m glad it’s going to be a beautiful sunny and warm weekend. I’m going to enjoy nice long walks with Her Highness and working on the yard.
Steve, my ex, is coming to visit at the end of July. It’ll be his first; he lives in L.A. And I can hardly wait. We are bonded. And his sister and brother-in-law, Lydia and David, are coming at the same time. They are as close to family as I have ever had.
Lydia and David are coming here on Wednesday of this coming week, too. I’m seriously looking forward to their visit. Lydia is a true soul mate and spa baby.
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