Thursday, April 4, 2019


Tuesday, I was busy in Nanaimo all day. I didn’t have a chance to think about things Dr. Shoja said during my visit—or about the revised diagnosis. So that’s what I did most of the day yesterday. I feel better about having a diagnosis that feels accurate and is understandable.
Jay said he’d had enough of being crippled. His surgery was five weeks ago and he’s sick of difficulty sleeping due to pain and having trouble walking. That’s how I feel after three years of my symptoms.
Dr. S. worries I’m depressed. I think she may have cause, but ... I have friends with anxiety who aren’t mute and don’t have seizures. My anxiety seems extreme; I’m mute in public. Plus I can barely see so I think a certain amount of depression is an understandable response.
Yesterday, it felt very good to be home alone all day and soothed by Sheba, Fred and Ethel. I passed my day doing indoor cleaning and cooking that will last me several days. And I kept a nice low fire.
Today doesn’t look terribly inviting outdoors but there have been some sunny-ish breaks, so I did laundry in a fit of optimism and hung it outside. I also ordered a stand-up clothes line for indoors; I am done with my dryer!
I may make more flowers for our party today—that’d be more fun than cleaning up the shed. Or I may do nothing. I love doing nothing. I can hardly wait until I can read easily again.
Our party and the debut of the Selfie exhibition, is imminent; my colleagues have been doing everything possible to make a success of both aspects of the evening. We have a busy ten days ahead of us; I have a lot of flowers to make.
My beets are emerging; I think I see the spinach sprouting and the radishes are looking fabulous—tiny still, but fabulous. I’m gaining confidence in both my garden and myself as a gardener.

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