RIP Nelson

Well. Yes. Thursday. It’s a day I must forget.

It got off to a bad start. I thoroughly messed up my first STAMMA support group as administrator. I was so upset! I logged in but no one showed up. I got into the car with Sheba and went to Nanaimo to do supply shopping I’ve been putting off for weeks. I just wanted out of here where I could not forget what a fuck-up I’d been.

It was a cool day and pouring with rain, but I got a lot of pet supplies for the next several months. And then I came home to a cool damp house and more misery. I got an email saying Nelson, my friend Di’s dog, had died. He developed a lump on his shoulder about 3 weeks ago and got a cancer diagnosis yesterday. He was in such pain, Di called the vet and our poor little precious friend, was euthanized yesterday afternoon.

Then I found out that London is suddenly 7 hours ahead of us, not 8. That’s why no one turned up. Ironically, the subject of the recent FND group I attended was “cognitive difficulties due to FND.”

I had no energy for anything after the email. Losing Nelson has really hit hard. I’ve never been so upset at the loss of a friend’s pet since Paula’s dog, Nick, died. I chose Nick for Pauls; he was as much ours as hers. He was precious to me, and his death hit me hard, just as Nelson’s has. I’ve always been extremely fond of animals. I can form strong bonds with them; I adored Nelson, and he loved me. When we walked together, he’s nip and my heels for attention. He was a herder.

Today, Sheba is groomed by Sarah and at 1:00, chairperson Dyan comes to discuss Federation communications with me. I’m looking forward to our discussion.

I can think about Nelson today without crying. This morning, I read a friend’s comment about a movie called Heart of a Dog.  He said this: “One takeaway for me was the philosophy that the purpose of death is the release of love.  If you have loved someone or a pet intensively and for many years, when that person/pet dies, your love is ‘released’ to be reapplied to a new person or animal.”