Friday, December 29, 2023

I've Been Missing Him


Wednesday began with a walk with our fellow dog walkers. It was a dark and dreary day, but it was lovely to be outside walking in the forest. Our morning walks never ever fail to inspire; they are an ideal way to get my day going. 

After our walk, we went into the village to get some dog food for Sheba and to order some refills for two medications, then we came home. Then, not long after arriving, David realized his phone was missing and he worked himself into an appalling state. He went right off the rails because his e-tickets for his flights home were on the phone. I found the phone outside on the ground and he was in such a state, he couldn’t process my telling him I’d found it. I had to yell at him to listen and then repeat my good news.

Peace returned to Pinecone Park, so we had lunch and chilled for a while before leaving for Drumbeg to walk the park together with Sheba. And then we went to the plane office. I waited to see his plane take off and then total gloom set in. I felt sick with sadness. It felt absolutely awful to come through the gate alone, to see his dishes on the table, his blanket on the sofa. My funk lasted through the rest of the day and evening.

I knew happiness and routine would soon return, but the day without him was dreadful. He has, however, promised to return in the Summer of 2025. I love having his return to look forward to though the rest of the Winter. 

Soon after getting back home, I got into the spa to chill for a while, and then I built up the fire and got comfortable on the chaise with a book. Then at the fridge, then back to the chaise for TV. I watched Maestro and wept at the end of one scene, moved by the beauty of the music. It may have been Berstein’s Mass. It was filmed in a church, and the scen was a long one, and while it plays, we see Bernstein and the orchestra, but mostly Bernstein. 

I loved the movie. I’ve long adored the acting of Carrie Mulligan. I was surprised that in a movie written, directed and starring Bradley Cooper as Bernstein, to see Carrie Mulligan get top billing. It’s extremely well deserved. And when the movie ended, I felt a bit better about missing David.


Thursday was a day to do nothing. As soon as I awoke, my first thought was about David not being here anymore. I had a serious case of missing his company, so I just puttered my way through the day. All I really wanted to do was go back to bed until Friday. I read, I went to the grocery store, I overate; that was my day.

The nicest part of the day was happening on Dave and his dogs, Wynter and Poppy. Dave is a gem of a man. He’s a neighbour and I hadn’t seen him for quite a while, so it was lovely to walk with him and out three dogs. We talked baking. Dave has a sweet tooth like I do.

The one amazing thing about yesterday was noticing that my Clematis is full of new shoots. My poor Clematis thinks that it’s Springtime due to the unseasonably warm weather we’ve been having. This morning, I lit the fire more out of habit than need. As happened yesterday, it’s very warm again this morning.

Huh? A librocubicularist is a person who reads in bed.

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