Saturday, March 30, 2024


 I went to fitness yesterday and it overwhelmed me. I spent the rest of the entire day sleeping. And resting.  I was exhausted after Di’s visit and the class. Now, speaking of Dianne ….

I met her when we were both in UBC’s one-year teacher training program. I was overseeing the set construction being made for a student performing arts project that I put together. She was in the space where we’d later be performing, and she asked the people who she was with, pointing at me, “Who is that asshole?” She told me that while she was here. I’m going to ask her what I was doing to label me so.

We started ‘dating.’ I kept trying to not be gay. Our relationship was not sexual. Duh. She was my last try. A few years later I came out. She is about to hire a contractor to design and construct a major renovation to the basement of her house. She arrived flush with anxiety about the engagement process with the various companies vying for her money. She told me, soon after she arrived, that she’d be talking to Jane (who was coming to visit) and me, about her concerns.

And that’s what we did. Jane and I listened to her concerns, and as soon as we decided to have the talk, she brought out her notebook for the project. When I saw that notebook, I thought: She doesn’t have to worry! She gets A+++ for due diligence.  However, our talk together yielded results. She was feeling less anxious, and I really felt good about helping a friend.

The next day, we talked some more about the project, and again, she found value in the discussion. I know, because when something of value happens in the discussion, Dianne makes a note in her book. A+++ When we were talking before dinner, we talked about the value of conversations with trusted friends as single people. And when she left she referenced the value of the weekend for her anxiety about her project.

And I love her company, just like I did at UBC.  And I made an apple galette. I am conscious of how much I value visits from friends, so I want to reward and acknowledge their kindness with good food and conversation (she is deaf to my impairment), and walks, spas, and visits to local restaurants. 

Her proposal to visit more often, to be honest, deeply moved me. I felt wanted—loved even. Friends. Family.

Last night I watched Shogun. I wasn’t inclined, although I’d read rave reviews, because I don’t want to see fighting and conflict. But someone I know was watching it and said that they were on episode 6 and there’d been no fighting. WRONG! There was tons of fighting and horror, so I quit watching it.

We’ve stunning Spring weather for the next 4 days, so I’ll be doing yard work or whatever else I feel like doing. I think I’ll be going to the nursery and getting more soil and plants. It’s going to be great to be outside all day today.

Jade Vine

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