Friday, March 1, 2024

We are Programmed for Safety

We went for a lovely walk in glorious, spectacular sunshine and cool fresh air. Then we were off to the village to do a big shop for tomorrow night’s dinner, and when I got home, I got to work on making pastry, blind baking a big pie crust, and then making a garlic and spinach tart for our main course. I love this dish. 

I use 4 heads of garlic that I boil first, then pan bake in just a touch of oil to brown the cloves, then I add maple syrup, balsamic vinegar, water and lots of chopped Rosemary and Thyme. Then I simmer the garlic mixture until the water evaporates and I am left with juicy looking golden brown garlic cloves in a thick dark past.

I fill the tart with white cheddar cheese and baby spinach, then I pour I thick mixture of crème fraiche, heavy cream and 4 eggs over top, and when that is settled, I drizzle the garlic and thick delicious sauce over the top of the tart. They look so lovely against the pale yellow colour of the cream mixture. And then it all bakes into a beautiful tart to serve.

It takes a few hours to make the tart and to clean everything up. Then we went for our second walk of the day before settling in for another night together at home. It felt good to know that the biggest job for my dinner tomorrow, is done.

I asked Dr. S. about the emotional conflict I experience between seeking the company of friends and wanting to never ever be with anyone. I live this conflict all day every day. And she said: “We are programmed for safety, not happiness.” It was a perfect response. I was immediately clear because it’s my safety system that is broken.

I’ve booked to go to Vancouver on March 12. My friends, John and Bunny have invited me to stay. I’m doing a quick visit, coming home right after my visit with them. While I’m there, I’m hoping we all can go to Gourmet Warehouse so I can pick up some supplies.

I have an easier job list for today, so I’ll have lots of time to chill. I like to spread the cooking and baking out so that I am in comfortable shape (and able to speak) for my guests, and not overworked and exhausted. But first I go to fitness. 

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