Tuesday, March 19, 2024

Words & New Meanings

 Monday was gorgeous! It was a very satisfying 16° in the afternoon. The day began with fitness, and I was okay with going. It is brutally hard so I do what I can and often adapt the exercise to suit me. My arms hurt mildly all day from our session.

I went to the village afterwards, stopping to short walk Sheba who has a sore foot. And then, on the way home, I stopped at the nursery. Oh, how I love Kent and his place. He is a lovely man, who always welcomes me warmly (and my money). I got some flowers to put in a container at the entrance to the backyard, and I planted 12 lettuce plants, and 3 Cherry Tomato plants. I can hardly wait to go back for more.

Likely because of fitness, I didn’t feel up to a heavy day of working, so I mixed some fertilizer and did some strategic watering. And all day, Sheba and I enjoyed the company of Bently, a gorgeous and majestic all-white Sheepadoodle who belongs to one of the workers at Dave and Ursula’s place.

The most dramatic moment of the day happened when a Thrush came to eat at my feeders and then a Cooper’s Hawk swooped in for some Thrush dinner. I didn’t see how their story ended, thank goodness. But no sooner were they gone, than my feeder was swarmed with songbirds wanting dinner. How I love my birdie friends!

Her Highness is not walking. She’ll walk around the yard but won’t go tail walking. She socialized with Bently and spend much of the day outdoors with me, so I was content to leave her in the house when I went to The Surf to meet Eoin, François, Jay and Darryl for dinner. It was a gorgeous night and view from The Surf can’t be beat on a night like last night. It’s right on the shoreline.

I am absolutely smitten with actor Domhnall Gleeson. I can’t remember the first time I saw him, but whatever it was, he impressed me terribly with his acting skill. Last night, I watched him in the PBS series Alice and Jack. And just the other night, I watched Goodbye Christopher Robin, in which he plays the lead. He’s a very accomplished fellow, and handsome too! He’s the son of acclaimed actor Brendan Gleeson.

Today is supposed to be the last day of this epic string of Summer-like days. Tomorrow, the clouds come back. So, today I’m going to do more chain sawing. I’m going to get rid of the last huge branch that fell during our single Winter storm. After that, I’m not sure what I’ll do, but I’ll be outside much of the day today.

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supplying a new definition. Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2 Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. 

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4 Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 

5 Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.  

6 Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.  

7 Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high . 

8 Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 

9 Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.  

12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.  

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.  

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. 


The Washington Post also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:

1 Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.  

2 Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.  

3 Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 

4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5 Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.  

6 Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown. 

7 Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp. 

8 Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash. 

9 Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller. 

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline. 

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.  

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.  

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.  

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men. 


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