Saturday, April 16, 2016

I Can Be Heard; Suddenly, I Can Love

I hear this new sound in my voice as I say goodbye to Bruce. I’ve heard it a few times when I am talking to truly dear friends, to trustable people. It’s a good change.
As I finish saying goodbye to him, I think to myself, “I think he heard in my voice how much he means to me.” And I realized, I felt heard and more than that….
I realized that what I was hearing in my voice was love.  I’m communicating love. I’ve never been able to do that before; I’ve always faked it. I didn’t know I was faking it until now.
This may sound like so much gobbledygook to you, but for me this firestorm of understanding is at once overwhelming and thrilling.
I will never again live in a world without love. I can feel it and I can communicate it. Dr. Shoja says that is how we “build the bridge” to control the amygdala where the flight/fight response is based, so this must be good.

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