Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Hating The Back Pain

Yesterday I had quite the impending mortality experience.
I was walking to Bruce’s when my eye caught sight of a bunch of daffodil shoots pushing up through the soil and I burst into tears. That, itself, is not unusual; the first sign of Spring can do that to me. The uninvited word swirling in my head was, “renewal.”
But I was not feeling renewable. My heart makes me avoid walking uphill or quickly and my back makes stepping up and down something to think about and/or to do one-at-a-time. Two things I hate in life a lot, are immobility and pain.
Bruce, at our brunch, said, "Back pain can take up to ten days to heal." It was a nice gift, that remark. It's a hint to be patient and a gift of hope for a pain-free future again. By saying that, he made the challenges of the day bearable. I felt uplifted by his comment. It was the perfect thing to say. 
Last night Dr. Soothe called but I chose not to see him. It takes a lot for me to turn down his attention but that is how badly my back has me feeling. Consequently, I went to bed with Ativan in hopes of having a better day today.
 “Alternate fact.” The first time I read it, I was aghast. Then you realize a meme has been born and that you are not alone in your horror and it feels good. And I read that he has ordered his Parks Service to stop Tweeting because of their low assessment of his inaugural crowd—classic small penis shame. Four more years. Sigh.
With my back so sore, writing is a challenge, so after my fabulous breakfast with theatre friends on Monday, I went to the Granville Island Children’s Market and to Toys Are Us to check out their marble selection and neither store had any marbles so I asked for some help. In Toys Are Us the young man had no idea what marbles even were; at Granville Island Children’s Market the server was a woman my age who know exactly what I meant but she said marbles are not popular any more. Sigh.
I have appointments with Dr. Shoja and Dr. Montaner today and tonight I go to a friend’s opening with Dwight. For me, that is an extremely busy day. But I am happy to be ending it with Dwight. He is going to help me take apart my dining room table so that I have more room for my dresses.
And speaking of my dresses, I am having second thoughts about the monologue. I am wondering if it should be a two-hander because a monologue is hard work for an actor. I’m going to continue to think about it whilst my back recovers. In the mean time, however, I have the materials I need with which to make the baseballs I need for the sports dress.
Soon I am going to be knee-deep in papier-maché materials as I make all the soccer balls and basketballs I need for the sports dress. It’s going to be messy and a challenge but I am, for some reason, looking forward to it. It’s not a technical challenge this dress, as so many have been. This one is, I think, going to be an easy build and I think the dress’ will make quite an impression.

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