Hating The Back Pain

Yesterday I had quite the impending mortality experience.

I was walking to Bruce’s when my eye caught sight of a bunch of daffodil shoots pushing up through the soil and I burst into tears. That, itself, is not unusual; the first sign of Spring can do that to me. The uninvited word swirling in my head was, “renewal.”

But I was not feeling renewable. My heart makes me avoid walking uphill or quickly and my back makes stepping up and down something to think about and/or to do one-at-a-time. Two things I hate in life a lot, are immobility and pain.

Bruce, at our brunch, said, "Back pain can take up to ten days to heal." It was a nice gift, that remark. It's a hint to be patient and a gift of hope for a pain-free future again. By saying that, he made the challenges of the day bearable. I felt uplifted by his comment. It was the perfect thing to say. 

Last night Dr. Soothe called but I chose not to see him. It takes a lot for me to turn down his attention but that is how badly my back has me feeling. Consequently, I went to bed with Ativan in hopes of having a better day today.

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 “Alternate fact.” The first time I read it, I was aghast. Then you realize a meme has been born and that you are not alone in your horror and it feels good. And I read that he has ordered his Parks Service to stop Tweeting because of their low assessment of his inaugural crowd—classic small penis shame. Four more years. Sigh.

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With my back so sore, writing is a challenge, so after my fabulous breakfast with theatre friends on Monday, I went to the Granville Island Children’s Market and to Toys Are Us to check out their marble selection and neither store had any marbles so I asked for some help. In Toys Are Us the young man had no idea what marbles even were; at Granville Island Children’s Market the server was a woman my age who know exactly what I meant but she said marbles are not popular any more. Sigh.

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I have appointments with Dr. Shoja and Dr. Montaner today and tonight I go to a friend’s opening with Dwight. For me, that is an extremely busy day. But I am happy to be ending it with Dwight. He is going to help me take apart my dining room table so that I have more room for my dresses.

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And speaking of my dresses, I am having second thoughts about the monologue. I am wondering if it should be a two-hander because a monologue is hard work for an actor. I’m going to continue to think about it whilst my back recovers. In the mean time, however, I have the materials I need with which to make the baseballs I need for the sports dress.

Soon I am going to be knee-deep in papier-maché materials as I make all the soccer balls and basketballs I need for the sports dress. It’s going to be messy and a challenge but I am, for some reason, looking forward to it. It’s not a technical challenge this dress, as so many have been. This one is, I think, going to be an easy build and I think the dress’ will make quite an impression.