My Thesis

I had a lot to share with Dr. Shoja on Tuesday and I felt that her responses acknowledged and rewarded the progress I felt I had made. We resolved to continue where we left off next week when I see her and that happens to be immediately after my second session with Columbia Speech and Language Services, Inc. In other words, right after the door opens or closes on speech therapy.

Columbia will either be able to help me or not. They may offer a complete recovery, partial improvement or management training and their help might be reasonable or horrifically expensive —most people paying their fees do so through their insurance; my insurer won’t cover me.

If Columbia can’t help me, I want to stop fighting stuttering. I want to stop hoping I’ll get better so that every day doesn’t begin with a disappointment.

Dr. Shoja is my academic advisor and I am a student on independent study pursuing this thesis: Strategies for surviving the end stages of life in an indifferent and unfair world for an abused aesthete.

Her issue is not my speech. However, improvement in my speech may be a consequence of the defense of my thesis.

In an effort to stabilize mood,

Over all I choose solitude.

I’m happy to be

Alone with just me,

I hope you don’t think that I’m rude.