What a Go-awful day Tuesday was. In the morning, bathing in a hurry to get to Dr. Shoja on time, I fell in the bathtub and hurt my back. I spent the day horizontal; it’s the way Leon likes me. Only one thing got me to move: Ice cream.
Today it is better but I am an erection; from head to toe I am stiff and today is a Wholester day. We’re having a picnic in Stanley Park today. Then I will go to see Bruce (by car.)
Walking to see Bruce has brought a lot of joy to my days recently. The entire route is residential; it passes parks, has stoplights at the major intersections and ends in the tranquility of the Holy Family campus. I rarely have problems with transit now, too, so the return trip is not emotionally challenging either. I can hardly wait to get back to it.
Bruce called this morning. I am glad he did. I know he wants me to visit and I like that. And the weirdest thing is, is that when I go to see him every day I have nothing much to tell him; I have no gossip or news, but we pass time very comfortably somehow. Today I plan to talk to him about breaking up.
I find myself in a relationship with him. I’ve been spending several hours with him a day and I’ve been washing him and moving his body around and I’ve even met his whole family. And my the time comes for him to go home, we’ll have been in this pattern for at least ten weeks so I want him to wean me from him. I don’t want a “cold turkey” separation. I’m sure he’ll understand.
My session with Dr. Shoja was, as always, fabulous. I told her how much better I was feeling between bouts of muteness. My speech problem has changed yet again; I stutter less and am mute more. Instead of speaking with constant stuttering, I can speak almost without stuttering for a minute or even longer, and then I cannot speak at all. Mute episodes last as long as seizures used to — not long. So I wait them out.