Friday, June 10, 2022

STAMMA Likes My Video

STAMMA is a U.K.-based stuttering support organization. They formed a stuttering group for people like me who develop a stutter late into our lives. When I joined the group, we discovered all of us have either FND or Parkinson’s (a neurological disorder). I love the group; I really love being part of such a fine group of people.

Tracy is one of our leaders and I sent her a link to my video. Today, she told me that STAMMA wants to use my video for their education and promotion initiatives. I said that I was okay with that, and that I could re-record it and make fewer mistakes. Plus, I could tidy myself up for a re-recording. Tracy said that some STAMMA officials will soon be in touch with me. I’m chuffed.

We had a presentation from an FND therapist. She did a presentation, ad libbing off a series of slides. After others had spoken, I said that some of the words and phrases made me angry. And they did. Therapists often want to tell us about breathing and calming techniques, and when she did, I had to turn off the audio. She did that. And she said things that sounded to me as though a cure was expected. Every single one of my peers in the session backed me up. 

Our guest handled it extremely well. I told her I didn’t like having to be critical of so gracious a woman and our guest. I told her that for us, our session is our safe place, and I felt I had to defend it. Defend us. FND wins every time. Neither I nor my peers can affect our symptoms. To expect us to, is offensive to us.

Neurologists in the U.K. voted FND their least favourite condition to have to treat.

With that session behind me, life returns to dull routine. The past week has been a very busy one, compared to most. I’ve had something to do every day. But now all day, every day, is open. The weather will determine what I do. I am, however, looking forward to Sunday because Jay is coming over to watch the Tony Awards with me.

Yesterday was just pure unending unadulterated shite. It poured with rain all day. We did not walk. Instead, Sheba got her exercise going in and out of the house dealing with her diarrhea. She got it from eating watermelon that Issa gave her on Wednesday afternoon when she and her mom came to visit. I will say, though, that it was cozy in the house. I love the sound of rain on the roof, a small fire and having nothing to do. I’d have much rather been outside in sunshine, but I had a decent day being cozy.

There was no clinic business yesterday. The board is a working board; there’s no executive director. They’re under pressure to find two doctors and I think they may be rather burned out. That may be why they reached out for new recruits. I’m learning on the run. My mantra is do all you can, have patience and make suggestions without expectations

It was a dark and stormy night. But in the early evening that lasts until 9:46 on a clear night, was actually lovely. Looking out my windows, on every side of the house, all I see is a verdant lushness. In the cracks in my fieldstones, weeds are exploding like fireworks and are dense with flowering wee Daisies. New growth makes it a bright, living green, and it’s dense in my yard. The lawn is high, everything is weeping. The air is heavy with rain; the air fells thick and has a green hue. Every surface glows. As it darkens, it becomes even more beautiful. I pray for sunny warm days, but it’s kind of fun in that it’s like being in Hawaii. 

And today is Friday, and it’s sunny! Huzzah! This past week went by quickly, I had so much to do. When I am alone, time slows down.

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