Crisis and Recovery

This morning started off normal, but at 9:15 I left for my appointment with Dr. Shoja. I did not feel great on the bus and when I got off, I started crying for no reason. From there, it was downhill. I was in deep, deep withdrawal and fear. I could barely talk when I went in to her office and I would not open my eyes.

It was like a loss of all progress gained. But by the end of the session, however, I was feeling well again. And here I was thinking I was so much better.

Then home and back to the cheerleader crest. It is not looking like how I envisage it would look, but I am satisfied with how it. My goal objective is always “good enough,” not excellence. But sitting in my comfy “Dad” chair making the crest whilst listening to movies on Netflix is paradise. Leon is always by my side.

And, of course, now that I am so adapted to life at home, I can hear that Dr. Shoja is a little concerned about my withdrawal.

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I am confident about the cheerleader costume. I am going to use tissue again, so I have experience with the material, and the cheerleader top is going to be folded tissue just like the bodice of the peacock dress.

Once I do the crest, I am going to do the pompoms. I love to do things I haven’t done before first. Then I’ll do the dress. I don’t think it is going to be too challenging.

And I already have the stuff I need to start the apron. I’m really getting a vision of what I want to do. I’ve decided it’s going to have text on it, either on the chest part or the skirt part, I haven’t decided. But I am going to embroider it to look like crude writing. I am keen for it to be crude because it’s supposed to look like its been made by a man.

It’s “Duncan’s” apron. I know his story. Here’s “his” text:

“A real man is honest • loves, respects cares for his family • gives up his seat for a woman • knows a good relationship is hard, takes work and is worth the effort • listens • reads • is well-groomed • lets his partner stand in the limelight • smiles • is romantic • has manners • knows grammar • hold doors open for others • is trustworthy • is on time • returns respect  • makes mistakes • forgives • understands that he doesn’t know everything • likes learning • loves hard • says what he feels … and reads this without offence.”

That’s the text that I am going to embroider. Each dress has a time-consuming challenge to do something I haven’t done before. I have a spectrum-y affection for routine tasks; life is as much fun as you make it, right?