Sober

I’ve found my rhythm. I set myself a writing objective for the day as soon as I get up. Thursday, I decided to re-write five letters and then complete re-writing scene one; Friday’s objective was the remaining five letters and the cover letter to the adjudicators.

Once the day’s writing objective’s set, I get down to it and then when I am finished I feel I have earned guilt-free time to work on my dresses. I like making the dresses more than writing; writing is so sedentary and heady. I want to complete half of the defiant dress. I’m almost finished the lower front quarter. I’m doing do the top front quarter next so that I can include a photo of the entire front of the defiant dress in the script along with the photos of all the other dresses.

But it’s the weekend. Today I carve and tomorrow I read. No writing till next week.

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I went to a party last night and Sally was there and it was great. I am so glad I went and that we all had such a nice time. I feel really good about Sally again and I’m really glad.

But going out is really hard. I am phenomenal how tense I am all the time. I don’t really participate unless I’m asked something. I could happily stay home all the time but I am happy to see friends.

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And my feet are back on the ground. I realize my chances with the Arts Club are 50/50, at best. I loved writing out my reasons for expecting success and I am glad I did, but I’ve sobered up and am fine with taking the risk without expectations. Boca’s rejection didn’t even make me blink.