Computer Regulator

I’m old and I feel it. 

I feel it in my feet and my hips and I hear it in my breath whenever I’m going uphill. 

I hear it in every phone call; my peers tell me of their aches and diagnoses. 

I see it in the mirror and I am reminded when people who also seem old to me get up and offer me their seat on the bus. And every so often someone will begin a sentence wit, “Someone your age should….” 

Each insight says: “Don’t waste time.” But that’s exactly what I did yesterday. I chose the path of least resistance between rising and bedtime.

The morning walk with Sheba was lovely—really wonderful because it was so warm and the sky was bright. In the afternoon, I took Sheba with me to collect Jay’s mail (he’s away) and to get some groceries. I frittered the entire rest of the day away in spite of knowing time is precious.

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Skip the following paragraph if bragging offends you.

Whereas I have no self-control and am fatter than I have ever been in my life, I was the toast of the dog-walking group this past week for helping Sheba lose so much weight that they noticed. She has her hips back. 

Fred is still Fred. I suspect he will forever be too big because if I limit his access to food he makes himself sick eating plants, string, cardboard, etc. 

He’s a big cat and he spends a lot of time in the loft (“cats only” territory). But if I open a tin of something or crackle cellophane, he’s at my side immediately—I mean immediately! You should see his big beautiful Bengal body move! It’s like I’m on an game-free savanna and I’ve just pulled a carcass out of the larder.

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Sheba gets me out walking every day. Because of her, I’ve joined dog-walking groups and met people. I get exercise and I love walking in her wonderful company. Also, her big, warm, fuzzy, cuddly body is spectacular to hug and hugging her fills me with glee and erases all other thoughts from my brain.

But now she has another value. I have a computer regulator.

She gets bored if I spend too much time at my computer. She comes to my side, puts her head on my thigh and looks at be with her big beautiful come-play-with-me eyes. At first I resisted. That’s how she got fat. I gave her a big Milkbone to eat. But now I leave my desk and go to read for a while on the couch where I can hold a bone in one hand for her to chew. 

We play for quite a while and I read some. It’s not a great way to read. But I am very happy to be doing nothing but interacting with her because she’s become such an incredible friend. 

Eventually she tires, so I get up to do some errands and she goes into the bedroom to sleep for a while and we’re both at peace until her walk.

And that’s where we’re going now…