Saturday, May 4, 2019


The first few wheelbarrows full of wood felt as heavy as steel yesterday morning. 
The remaining half looked far less daunting as I began, a little after ten (after the community dog walk and a lot of watering). But by 2:00 I was beat. I retreated to the spa and then went shopping for some sweets to get me through a second round of stacking.
I was back at work at 4:00. I wanted to do more so there’d be less to do today. But I only lasted half an hour. I was thoroughly beat, and I wanted enough energy left over to make a nice stir-fry for dinner. 
It isn’t horrid work, by any means, it’s just tiring because I have asthma and I’m old. Were I not stacking, I’d be tiring myself doing other work. I love keeping busy; I love it—especially in this spectacular weather.
I made a great stir-fry and then, at eight, I went to bed.
I’ll be back at it this morning, but not for long. I only have from six-to-eight wheelbarrows of wood left to stack. Then I’ve lawns to mow and, of course, watering to do. But my body gets to recover for a couple of days before the next two cords of wood arrive.
To think I have to do all the stacking I’ve just done, two more times is a bit daunting but I’m doing it. It’s my biggest annual physical challenge.
There was “big” HIV news in the media yesterday after a study was released saying people with undetectable levels of the virus cannot transmit the virus to their sex partners. Science has known this for twenty years; I have a letter from my HIV doctor attesting to my inability to infect anyone dated 1999.
That fact, plus the well-known concept of “safe sex” had me hopeful I’d date again after my levels became undetectable in 1997. But no! My brothers, other gay men, would have nothing to do with me.  I was a pariah in my own community and it’s the same today.
Perhaps, now that what I’ve long known has hit mainstream media, things will change—but now I’ve retired from dating. Sigh.

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