CBT for Me

We’ve had some sunshine today. It’s been great, but it didn’t last. It was pouring this afternoon during my second walk with Her Highness.

Last night I escaped industrial metal compactors in one dream, and in another I traversed the Lions Gate Bridge that was undergoing repairs and required walking an unsteady footbridge and hanging on to dangling cables. It was a far cry from the Cirque-like Disneyland of a couple of nights ago. (As if my days weren’t full of enough anxiety!)

This afternoon, I met the Gabriola mental health nurse. I went not knowing why she wanted to see me; I thought it might be a single appointment to legitimize my return to Dr. Shoja because Dr. Majic said she was “the gateway” to a referral.

But no! I am going to see her once a week for a while, and then I’ll see her bi-weekly before, perhaps, joining a group therapy program here. (That last part scares me, to be frank.) We’ll be doing CBT: Cognitive behaviour therapy. Plus, I’ll return to Dr. Shoja.

I like Cathy, the mental health nurse. She gave me her phone number so I can call for help when I get stuck in one of my attacks (she calls them indulgences). And she has me journaling daily, so round two of therapy for Chris has begun. She seems confident that she and Dr. Shoja, working in tandem, can help me. Whoopee!

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An interesting thing came up today.

I told her I didn’t like the C-PTSD diagnosis because it begs the question, “What happened?” I told her I didn’t like talking about the incidents with the Tyrells that created my condition. And she said, “We don’t do that much any more.”

“That?” I asked her.

“We don’t encourage patients to talk about their abuse any more. Therapists stopped doing that a decade ago because we found for too many patients it re-traumatized them, so we focus on the present.”

I’d wondered why, in my years with Dr. Shoja, the past was not discussed (except on admission) and now I know why. It makes sense to me.

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Human garbage, Hillary Clinton, said yesterday that “nobody” likes Bernie Saunders and that she “won’t commit” to backing him if he’s nominated. In other words, she has absolutely no loyalty to her party; she is committed to only herself. Go away, Hillary, and shut the fuck up. And media empires: Ignore her! Please!