Somnambulist Genius

Okay, so… it went like this: I owned a home with a terrific view, high on a hill and modeled, I’m sure, on the Harrison’s home high on the hill behind us where I grew up in West Vancouver. And I’d rented it to a couple whom I evicted, with their co-operation, for a short term rental to … wait for it … a Kardashian.

And when it came time for the Kardashian to leave, I left with them—the whole mess of them plus various hangers-on, to a mall in California where we got separated. (I’m always getting lost or separated; I have anxiety issues, remember?) And so off I went looking for them—not to be with them, but to get a ride to wherever I was going.

That’s when the fun began.

It was the most opulent of settings. My imagination, when I am asleep, can surpass anything ever seen in cinema or Cirque du Soleil. I am profoundly proud of how I costumed the many extraordinarily rich patrons of the mall. The costumes I conjured were nothing short of spectacular. Truly: I may be the world’s best couturier (when I’m asleep). If I could remember what I saw and draw them, I’d be working in Hollywood. 

What I’m particularly proud of was everyone was sharing the same palette: Green and gold. And there was even a man, coated in crystals, from toe to turban, entering, of course, a Persian style restaurant. 

There were dowagers, hipsters and, plenty of women of ages in between, but they were universally gorgeous. There was nothing sexy, nothing déclassé and there was no skin, just lots of crystals, fur and diamonds, wide shoulders, impossible millinery and striing cuts of cloth. I’m a somnambulist genius. I desperately want to go back there!

•

It’s too wet out there this morning for our dog walk. A flurry of emails had us all agree it is just too, too nasty out there to venture forth. Sheba doesn’t even want anything to do with the outdoors this morning. So home, I’m staying! Thank God for Jonathan Franzen and his six hundred page books. I’m just at the beginning of Purity, my second.

Today marks a month since I had any Marijuana and it’s been over a month since I had a social engagement other than one of my dog walks. What a loner, I’ve become!