Wednesday, February 17, 2021

A Great Session with Saint Sheila

I’d seen many images of this fellow’s work, so I was delighted to

 find this video of him explaining how he makes his clouds.

My session with Dr. Shoja was profound. For the first time ever, she called my seizures, “seizures.” I have never heard her use the term before and I’ve always felt uncomfortable using it because no doctor ever diagnosed my “episodes” (my term) as seizures. However, the more I read about psychogenic non-epileptic seizures (PNES), the more I was convinced that they were what I was experiencing. And Dr. S. says that’s exactly what they are.

So now I know, and, for the first time, she explained things to me that gave me great relief to understand. I feel so, so incredibly much better with the knowledge she shared, and since speaking with her, I’ve been reading text by Dr. Stephen Porges and watching his videos. His research informs all Dr. Shoja told me about my seizures.

I’ve never understood what triggers my seizures. Now I know why. Drs. Shoja and Porges have opened the doors to understanding and it does me good to know. PNE Seizures are considered dissociative behavior. Dr. Porges’s Polyvegal Theory explains clearly why I don’t know what triggers me and why I seize; understanding has given me a greater sense of peace with my condition. Knowledge reduces stress and opens the door to learning techniques to mitigate my reactions.

After my session with Saint Sheila, I changed my clothes because I was soaking wet, and then I had a nap. Then I set myself to work. For the next several hours, in glorious blazing sunshine, I chopped wood and moved some wood from the stacks of last year to a new location to create space for the incoming “green” wood. I actually enjoyed myself because the exercise kept me warm and the day was so gloriously bright.  

Shortly after two, I met Merrill and her man, Leo, for a walk. Leo is a handsome, lovely and a very warm Hispanic man. They know few people here, so I am welcome company and I really am glad to have more people with whom to socialize. We walked our dogs together and we talked about island life together. They are wonderful people.

After the walk, I had a spa and then hit the couch, actually looking forward to doing more work today after walking with my dog group. Being outside and doing work in sunshine does wonders for me. Today will be a great day.

Today will be another bright clear day and I’ll spend much of it moving and chopping wood. Later this week, or next week, the first two of six cords of new wood will arrive, and I’ll start the monstrous task of schlepping and stacking it. One thing I know is this: I will not work in the rain.

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